"To be lost is to be fully present, and to be fully present is to be capable of being in uncertainty and mystery. One does not get lost but loses oneself, with the implication that it is a conscious choice, a chosen surrender, a psychic state achievable through geography." - Rebecca Solnit

–------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

In Search of Giants chronicles my ongoing pursuit of the elusive crested saguaro in southern Arizona. The crested saguaro, a rare mutation, forms a fan shape at its apex, contrasting with the classic cactus silhouette. This anomaly occurs in approximately one out of every 200,000 saguaros, though the cause of the mutation remains a mystery. Despite their conspicuous profile, there is no public database cataloging their locations, largely out of concern for vandalism, and no substantial research has been conducted. As one of the most recognized symbols of the American Southwest, the saguaro is deeply rooted in the ecology and culture of this region. They serve as indicators of the desert's health, reflecting its adaptability to extreme weather events like droughts and monsoons. 

While I didn’t originally set out to document the elusive crested saguaro, the search for these rare cacti became a framework for understanding a landscape that was so familiar yet still felt as if it was out of grasp. Meeting with people who live, work and conduct research in the region offered a more nuanced and complex understanding of the geography–one that complicates stereotypical messages of fear in the borderlands to instead focus on an ecosystem surviving on the edge of extremes during the driest year to date. The search for crested saguaros becomes a record of those who choose to inhabit this harsh environment: plant, animal, and human.

The structure of this work mirrors the fragmented and serpentine experience of searching, weaving a tapestry where one thread unravels while others remain tightly wound. As I collaborate and work with friends, family, climate scientists, ecologists, activists, and Tohono O’odham farmers, they reveal a broader yet personal view of the region based on care, resilience, and fragility. Ultimately, In Search of Giants is not solely about cacti with distinctive mutations; it is about the stories and systems they represent.